Can I Have A Prescription Please?

Hi my name is Katy and I am a basketcase. I have been for years. It used to be part of my personality. A friend of mine joked that I was the basketcase and she was the rock that kept me from losing it. Now being a basketcase is all I know.

I hate admitting that I am weak. That at any minute I might have a mood swing that will take me from feeling on top of the world to feeling like I have no purpose in life. I hate having uncontrollable crying fits for no reason at all. I hate not being in control of every teeny tiny aspect of my life. But I’m not.

Sometimes I think if I had a drug habit or was an alcoholic I would at least have any excuse to feel this way. That’s insane. As the daughter of an alcoholic I know that’s nuts. I don’t understand why I can’t function like a normal human being. Why must I be on paranoid high alert all the time? Why does the sound of the mailman on my front porch freak me out?

I think I might need some meds. (you know if you lost weight…shut up mom) I used to take antidepressants but at the time the doctors thought that he mood swings were part of a larger hormonal imbalance problem. They blamed it on my PCOS and the fact that my blood sugar and hormones are all out of whack.

I think I might need to go back on them. I might be bipolar as one doctor suggested and I might just not be taking my PCOS medication like I should be. Regardless I need to do something soon. Bless my husband for putting up with my insane mood swings and general paranoia.