Why Don't I Do Something About It? (358 Days)

In the past I have considered joining a place like Curves to try to get in shape. I've talked about it with my husband and even gone so far as to locate the nearest location (fyi it's about 5 minutes from my house) but in the end I always decide against it.

My reasoning?

I'm to fat to join a gym.

That sounds ridiculous. Even I know that. Seriously though, that's my reason. How dumb is that?

Photo Credit: lusi

You're probably staring at your screen in shock that someone would actually say they are too fat to join a gym. That's why people join gyms right? Maybe. In my experience people join gyms to stay skinny or build muscle. Why do you never see an overweight person walking out of the gym? Is it me or is every person who walks out the door a size 2? Yeah, I know lame ass excuse.

So, what's the real reason I don't join a place like that? Shame....I'm ashamed of myself. I'm scared I might see someone I know and they will realize just how out of shape I am. I'm afraid that I will fail to reach my goals or that once I reach them life won't be any different. So why even bother? I'm terrified I will have to look in the mirror and see the real me. The me I can hide from at home. That's why I hardly ever leave the house these days and when I do it's late at night.

I know my family worries about my health. I hear it every time I see them. I get it. I have a weight problem. Do they think I don't understand that? I worry about my health too. I'm worried that the next time I go to the doctor he will tell me I am a diabetic or that I have heart problems or that my blood pressure is too high.

I know I will never be a size 2 or even a size 10 for that matter. I don't even care about that. I just don't want to feel like every person in the room is looking at my plate or talking behind my back about how much weight I have gained.

I guess my secret is out now. Maybe I'll set up a collection jar and take donations and give Curves a try.